


this is wanting something

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Communication, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: After relapsing, Michael talks to Alex.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101





	this is wanting something

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: "I'll still be here when you're ready."

Michael always hated it when he woke up with no memory of falling asleep.

There was a vulnerability about not knowing how much time passed, about not really knowing where he was, about not intending to fall asleep in the first place. He wasn’t a fan. Still, he looked around and tried to remember the night before.

It’d been a sea of drinks and bodies, flashes of knocking back more shots than he should’ve. He’d been doing really good at drinking in moderation, but last night something just switched in his mind and he couldn’t stop. He remembered kissing one someone by the pool table and someone by the bathrooms, but he couldn’t be sure if they were the same person or separate. Whoops.

As he took in his surroundings, he realized he was on the floor of Alex’s living room. He had no memory of coming to Alex’s cabin or Alex picking him up. Did he break in instead of going home? He didn’t think he’d make the long drive when he was that drunk.

Michael slowly made his way to his feet, relying heavily on the furniture and the wall to keep himself upright. He noticed that the cabin was slowly looking more like Alex than it had when he originally helped him move his stuff into it. After his father broke into his house, Alex didn’t feel safe there anymore. Michael didn’t blame him.

“Alex?” Michael called, peering into the kitchen to see if he was there. It was empty, but the flashing clock on the oven told him it was barely 5:30 in the morning. That would explain the disorienting mix of hearing birds, but it still being kind of dark.

He kept his hand on the wall, dragging it against the wooden paneling as he went to find Alex’s bedroom. The door was closed and he gently knocked a couple times, pressing his ear to the door to wait for an invitation. When nothing came, he knocked again.

“What?” Alex groaned softly, almost impossible to hear. Michael smiled.

“Can I come in?”

“Fuck, sure, shut up,” Alex answered. Michael smiled even wider, slowly twisting the doorknob and pushing it open.

Alex was in bed, his face buried in his pillow and his blanket tucked between his thighs. He was shirtless and in nothing but basketball shorts, his back looking extra long and gorgeous. He closed the door behind him and engulfed the room in darkness again, the blackout curtains doing their job to convince Alex it was nighttime. As Michael moved closer, he caught sight of a tattered stuffed dog that Alex had tucked up against his chest. Again, it made him smile.

“Can I lay down with you?” Michael whispered.

“Shh,” Alex said, sleepily patting the empty side of the bed in a silent invitation as long as he stopped talking. 

Michael shucked off his boots as quietly as possible and did a quick smell test of the button up he had on. It smelled like beer, so he tore it off and dropped it to the floor. The undershirt he had on was much more acceptable and he climbed into the bed.

It welcomed him as he tucked Alex’s other pillow beneath his head. He stared at the man beside him a little bit more intensely, taking him in as he tried to will himself back to sleep. His eyes ended up stuck on the stuffed dog that was tight against his chest and stuck in the crook of his bicep. Michael had only really seen it twice before, once when they were in the shed and it was tucked underneath the bed in there and once when he was helping Alex move and it was stuffed in the bottom of a crate of blankets. He never asked questions, not wanting to make him embarrassed. Who was Michael to judge anyone for their vices?

But seeing him here, cuddling it like that, warmed his heart in a way that really only happened with Alex. He was so… Alex.

Hungover and still a little confused about the night before, Michael found himself falling asleep again. He didn’t fight it as it took over him, not when Alex was right there and letting him sleep beside him. He slept until he couldn’t anymore, waking up in a much more stable state of mind the second time.

“You’re awake,” Alex said. Michael looked over at him, rubbing his eyes a little to get a more clear picture of the man beside him. He was still rumpled from sleep, but he looked soft and open and didn’t seem to have anything in him telling him to hide his stuffed dog.

“Yeah,” Michael said, shifting to lay on his side. He mirrored Alex all while keeping necessary space between them. “I don’t, uh, I don’t know how I got here, but I’m assuming whatever it was wasn’t great for you, so thank you and I’m sorry for putting you out.”

“You don’t remember what happened at all?” Alex asked, tucking his arm beneath his head. He looked gorgeous even in the darkness. How the fuck was that fair?

“I don’t remember seeing you or coming here, no,” Michael confirmed. Alex nodded, staying silent despite the questions of what happened lingering in the air. “Do you… Do _you_ remember?”

Alex huffed a little laugh, nodding his head. “You showed up at my door and asked to borrow sugar.”

“Sugar?” Michael repeated slowly, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, it took me a minute to realize you meant a kiss too,” Alex said. Michael eyes widened a little and he rolled onto his back, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“Oh, fuck.”

“I told you no, but I wasn’t about to let you drive like that, so I force fed you some toast so you’d have something in your system other than alcohol,” Alex said. Michael groaned even louder. “Are you okay? Did something happen? ‘Cause I thought you were doing better.”

“Me too,” Michael huffed, looking over at him, “I’m so fucking sorry, Alex.”

“Don’t say sorry, you didn’t do anything too wrong. I’d rather you come to me than be sleeping on the side of the road or something. Though, next time, I’d appreciate a call so you don’t drive like that,” Alex said. Michael shook his head.

“No, it’s not fair on you. I shouldn’t be putting my shit on your shoulders, you don’t deserve that,” Michael insisted.

“Hey,” Alex said, reaching out and touching his arm gently. It was grounding. “Shit happens, we fuck up. I’d rather you be safe with me than hurt.”

“But I treated you like shit when you needed me,” Michael stated. Alex gently rubbed his thumb over his arm before pulling it away. It left him feeling cold.

“You weren’t in a good head space and you’ve been doing a lot better. We got a lot of shit to still work on, but we have to be good to ourselves and each other to make it happen. Yeah, you guys weren’t too nice to me for awhile, but me treating you that way back when you’re trying isn’t going to make anyone happy,” Alex said. Michael took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“You deserve better.”

“Yeah, well,” Alex sighed, “Sucks I really want you then.” Michael huffed a laugh, but the words gave him that little bit of motivation he needed to make sure whatever happened last night wouldn’t become a regular thing again. “Look, I’m not going anywhere. You are doing better. Last night was just a bad night.”

“Really bad.”

“Yeah, and I’m still going to be here when you’re ready to treat me right,” Alex said. Michael looked at him, at his pretty face and his unrelenting kindness. What the hell did Michael do to deserve a man who loved him like that? He didn’t feel worthy. “Maybe I’m stupid for it, but I think you’ve got it in you to treat me and yourself right. You just need a support system.”

“So do you.”

“Mhm,” Alex agreed, tugging his stuffed dog close to his chest, “And I’m finding one outside of the people in Roswell. But you? You I want to keep.”

Michael scooted a little bit close, hoping to shift the topic just a little so they didn’t have to have a talk so heavy right when they woke up. He reached out and gently tugged on the rough-textured ear of the stuffed dog.

“What’s it’s name?” Michael asked.

“Diné,” Alex answered, “Don’t ask why, I named it when I was, like, three.”

“You’ve had it that long? How come I’ve only seen it a couple times?”

Alex shrugged, “You clearly aren’t in my bed as much as you should be.”

Michael huffed a laugh, his hand leaving Alex’s comfort piece and dragging his hand over his arm before pulling his hand back to himself.

“Have I ever told you how incredible you are?” Michael wondered, “Because you are. You’re better than… than everyone I’ve ever met.”

Alex took a deep breath and nodded, “Yeah, I believe that. Your friends suck.”

“They’re your friends too,” Michael laughed. 

“Yeah, which is why I can say that,” Alex said before adding in a sing-song voice, “You need to get better ones.”

“I’ll work on that,” Michael agreed, smiling a little helplessly. 

It was difficult to not smile when Alex looked and acted like that, all warm and fuzzy and open. He was so happy after moving out to the cabin and, instead of going to Roswell all the time, going out to places in the town over. He was making friends and learning new things and it was making him even better than he already was. Michael didn’t even know that was possible.

But this was Alex and, with him, anything was possible.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
